Since it's Friday, I let Spotify pick the album to listen to. Spotify says that since I listened to Watain and Drudkh I should check out BatLord. No, wait, I guess that actually says Bathory. I guess Bathory is one of those important all-time metal bands, so I guess I should make an effort to get to know them. They are from Sweden and they play Viking metal. Can't go wrong with that, can we?
1. "Shores In Flames". The album opens with the sounds of waves gently crashing onto a beach. It seems like it's night time. A guitar comes in over the waves and plays a nice little part. Nothing too scary or threatening. This shore hardly seems flammable. I'd chill at this beach. Vocals start. This might be a ballad. Can't take a ballad. I'll give this a chance though because the album cover art is something I can get behind. Three minutes in we hear the crunch of guitars. Kill the ballad vocals please. Five minutes in and we're still in ballad territory. I think he's singing about window cleaning, but I am probably wrong. Six minutes in and the vocals have turned evil. Someone else is now on the beach. Hopefully here to eliminate the initial singer. A shout of "FIRE". This is bad so far. But not in a good way. Bad in a bad way. Bad guitar solo over the burning beach. We're at the 9 minute mark. Same song. Not sure what's going on. It seems the boring singers were able to easily take care of the death singer that appeared earlier. Wouldn't mind the death singer coming back ASAP. Not feeling BatLord right now. Song goes out with a fade of flames, replacing the waves. You hear a boat in the background. That switch is kinda cool. Maybe this will build into something worthwhile.
2. "Valhalla". It's bad but I actually wish there was a Spotify commercial to break it up. This song opens up with some Metallica One-ish single note riff. A slow chug builds up in the background. I think the music is supposed to sound like that sailing ship that appeared at the flamey beach. This song doesn't sound promising. Thankfully it's only 9 minutes and 35 seconds, unlike the 11:12 first song. "GOD OF THUNDERRRRRRRRR" "SWIIIIIING YOUR HAMMER" are some of the first lyrics. Something about something burning. Vocals are now over a choir. Metal churchy. Not my favorite. This was a bad choice for album of the day. Shame on you Spotify recommendations. At the 7 minute mark you hear actual thunder. This song is still inexplicably going. It should have ended 7 minutes ago, but the thunder is kind of cool I guess.
Subaru commercial. A metal Subaru would be cool. After-market vulture skull tint.
3. "Baptise In Fire And Ice". Decent music in the intro. Ruined with more choral vocals. I guess this is what BatLord is. The verse is actually kind of ok. Not sure what it's about, but it has potential. The chorus is ridiculous though. It's the singer going "BAPTISE...IN..." and then the choir goes "Fiiiiire annnnnd Ice". This is bad. Regular verse kicks back in, and the song is tolerable again. I think he's whining about hearing voices. Get used to it lord of the bats. The guitar after this verse kicks into a pretty cool stoner metal riff. Unfortunately this cues the chorus choir to get ready. BAPTISE...IN... fiiiiiiiiiireeeeeeeee annnnnnnnd iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Only 4 more minutes of this song.
Commercial. The Goddard School. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the members of BatLord did not go to the Goddard School.
4. "Father To Son". This one can't be good. Something's going on. There's a dog barking. The sound of a blacksmith hammering away at something. Someone running in the grass. Or something. A baby is crying. Metal guitar. Ruined with the damn choir. Back to guitars. Good guitars in this song. Bad vocals. I'm guessing that's BatLord's thing. This might be the best song yet. But that's not saying a lot. The song finished, but I'm not sure what happened to the baby.
5. "Song To Hall Up High". Lute ballad intermission. Not unexpected. You hear crows in the background too. Or maybe they are seagulls. Seagulls from the flaming beach of song #1. There's a lot of them now. Oh, maybe they guard this hall up so high.
6. "Home Of Once Brave". Good intro again. Good guitars, questionable drums. It's 1990 though so I can't be mad at the drums. The story is now about being on the water. And it's cold. The vocals remind me of Pink Floyd's Division Bell. Ahh, the drums do too. Four minutes in and I'm ok with this song. This song will win. The chorus vocals are present, but they are kind of in the background. At the 5:45 there are some anguished screams. Something is happening. It doesn't sound good. I mean it sounds good on the recording, but it doesn't sound good for those who are experiencing it. I'm guessing the fire on the beach has spread. Maybe to the boardwalk. DON'T GO TO THE BOARDWALK.
Justin Timberlake Mastercard commercial. Go to the boardwalk...
7. "One Rode To Asa Bay". HORSES! This album was missing something, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Now we are in some sort of meadow and there are horses. It needed horses. I guess I should have realized it's the best way to get to Asa Bay. The seagulls are close by too. And I think this music is a didgeridoo.Good stuff. I like Asa Bay so far. Ugh, the chorus is back. This time with a gong. Metal choir is usually bad, but metal choir all the time is unacceptable. Hopefully our hero mounted on his steed can save the day. I do think I like the regular vocals in this song. BatLord has grown on me. I probably just picked the wrong album.
8. "The Winds Of Mayhem-Outro" This track is only 23 seconds long. It's an outro and doesn't really fit in with the rest of the album's concept. Thankfully it signals the end though.
There were parts of this album I liked. The ending, the horse, and the main vocals grew on me. The guitars were solid too. With how many Bathory records available on Spotify, I guess it's safe to assume they knew what they were doing. Maybe Hammerheart wasn't the right spot to start. You have to remind yourself that this was 1990 to, so they were probably an important band for getting Viking metal out of the awful 80s and into the proper hell that was the 1990s. It'll get an extra decapitated goat for that alone.
2 out of 5 decapitated goats.
Top Tracks:
1. Home Of Once Brave
2. The Winds Of Mayhem-Outro
3. One Rode To Asa Bay
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